I hate to hurt people. I am WAY too much of a ‘feeler’ for that shit. The empathy gauge of my heart is stuck at eleven. That’s one more than ten. It’s like bigger, y’know? But I have been slapped with the reality that commonsense isn’t so common. And I get a front-row seat to the world that surrounds me. It is fucking suffocating at times. I’m not resentful at the world I see [pinky promise], but the ones I have contributed to.
Look, I know we are all fucking sick of people like me bitching on their self-absorbed blog because their narcissistic butthole needs attention. But my butthole is my sacred safe place, so fuck off.
I think so much of our lives get hung up not on our differences, but on our perspective and our own insecurities. In fear of looking weak or ignorant, we lay stake far down into our own perspective of things we hold true until we feel safe to come out after the dust settles. Lines are drawn that can’t be crossed until the other person changes or concedes to the other’s rules of engagement. Or better yet, Silent War.
My perspectives have only changed because I have progressed differently than others and am simply looking from a different angle. (ie. the glass is half full/empty. Both 100% right and 100% wrong from either viewpoint. Crazy shit bullshit.) Don’t get me wrong. I want to ‘false-belief’ test every shithead adult into reality, but empathy is even warranted to adult-babies.
I am learning so much about myself and the world around me. Sobriety fucking rocks. Talk about perspective! (ie. ‘but I can’t relax or have fun without alcohol’ thoughts vs. reality) Maybe that is another reason I get so butthurt about Christianity. Think about it. I am fucking strong enough to break a brutal addiction by changing my perspective on its effects of long-term abuse and then face the reasons why I was drinking so much head-on, yet the faithful refuse to hang the tinfoil hat up long enough to have a logical conversation? Sigh.
One of the hardest things to deal with [as the empathic powerhouse I am] is I still want to and will always be a ‘nice guy’. I am just done being the doormat to other people’s arrogant perspectives. I refuse to contribute, accept, or strengthen anything that is counter-intuitive to me and mine kicking motherfucking ass. Because I have grit motherfucker. I can do anything and I have already proved it. I fucking move mountains for free. Watch me whip AANNDD nay nay. I’m a BAAAAADD motherfucker!
Ignorance and arrogance don’t mix too well and I have some questions.